Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anger. Show all posts

Thursday, May 15, 2014

The Bully Solution



This comes as no surprise to anyone, but the issue/problem of “bullying” has grown to epidemic proportions. Many are saying “Stop bullying!” or “We need to stop bullying!”, yet they are not addressing foundational principles that will help get to the heart of the issue.  Rather, they are address symptoms and say they are “helping,” which is like saying a Band-Aid is “fixing” cancer.  Please read through the following principles and consider how we need to address the foundational issues of bullying.
What is Right?  We must teach a standard of right and wrong that is unchanging.  Nearly everyone will say that the bully is wrong.  Yet, one must admit is that in the majority of cases the bullied has broken God’s standard of righteousness by wrongfully responding to the bully even before it becomes a “bullying” situation, and usually afterward, as well.  We must bring both parties to the point of recognizing that God sets a standard of right and wrong His standard does not change with society’s whims.  We therefore bring them back to the truths of God’s Word.  Psalm 119:9, 11 (NKJV) “How can a young man cleanse his way?  By taking heed according to Your word.  Your Word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against You.”
Who am I?  We must teach individuals that they are created in the “image of God” (Gen. 1:26-27), as the greatest of all of God’s creation.  Our value, therefore, comes from the fact that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  Psalm 139:14   My value or worth does not change when someone calls me a name, or makes fun of my clothing.  My value does not change by how smart, good-looking, or talented I am.   These things are all temporary, and will pass away.   The bullied needs to change the way they look at themselves, to see how God looks at them.  The bully needs to recognize that they are attacking one whom God specially created for His purpose, and they will give account to Him for their behavior.
As one created in God’s image, all of us are to be reflecting the character of God by striving to be loving, caring, holy, forgiving, gracious servants of Him.
How do we resolve our conflict?  The majority of bullying situations grow out of unresolved conflict.  This conflict and fighting comes as a result of our own selfish desires (James 4:1). We must learn not to respond to others sin by attacking them.  I must learn to respond calmly (Prov. 15:1).   We must learn that retaliation is never right (Prov.  20:22; Rom. 12:17; I Peter 3:9).  We must know that God has saved revenge as His right and responsibility (Rom. 12:19; Heb. 10:30).  He sees and knows all, and He is all-powerful, and therefore able to deal with the problem.  We must trust Him to deal with the problem through the authorities that He has set up or personally.  It may not always be the response for which we were wishing, but we can be certain God will deal with it.
Our response is to do everything in our power to live peaceably with all men (Rom. 12:18).   This does not mean we can compromise the truth of God’s word, or disobey His
commands, but we can do everything up to that point to bring about peace in our relationships.
The starting point:  In just this short space we have recognized that there is a standard of right and wrong that has been compromised in our relationships.  This “missing the mark” of God’s righteousness is called sin.  And the “wages of sin” is death (Rom. 6:23). That is bad news, but the good news is that the “gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord” (Rom 6:23).  God in His love sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross to pay the penalty of our sin (John 3:16).  We therefore must recognize our sinfulness and the consequences or our sin and believe that Jesus Christ is the only remedy for that sin.  Are you ready to put your faith in Christ to take the punishment for your sin? 
This bullying problem will continue to increase if we do not teach and train individuals with these truths.  For more help, daily encouragement and more thorough explanations, as well as, other topics such as love and authority: find “The Bully Solution” on Facebook or twitter (@BullySolved) and follow so you get all the updates, or look up www.thebullysolution.blogspot.com to follow our blog.   The bully solution is a ministry of First Baptist Church of Littleton, IL . www.fbclittletonil.org
Faith-based counseling to help those struggling on either side of this issue is available by calling 309-257-2290.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

First Word #6 Psalm 119:78

Psalm 119:78 (NKJV) 78Let the proud be ashamed, For they treated me wrongfully with falsehood; But I will meditate on Your precepts.

What is our attitude when someone treats us the wrong way?  What do we spend our day or days thinking about?

It is very easy when something is said or done to us to begin to reflect upon the situation, to replay the conversation or situation over and over again.  But what does this accomplish besides getting us more upset and preventing us from accomplishing what we need to do because we cannot concentrate.   It causes us to lose sleep and productivity.

Let them be “ashamed” or “put to shame” for they treated me wrongfully with falsehood.  This is something that we can trust God to deal with; we don’t have to figure out how to get them back on our own.  We know from Proverbs that a lying tongue is one of the things that the LORD hates (Pr. 6:17).  God will judge he does not let sin go unpunished.

Further the psalmist states that he would meditate on God’s precepts.  A precept is a direction, a regulation a principle instructing to do a certain action, which is to be obeyed by all in same society of the covenant[1]

When our mind is meditating on what we are to do in obedience to God rather than what someone else did we can more easily trust God to deal with those who sin against us in their evil.

One of the principles regarding those who treat us wrong that we are to remember comes in the book of Romans .  In chapter 12 verses 17-21
Paul challenges us with the following actions as members of the body of Christ. 
17Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.
18If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.
19Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
20Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”
21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.( Romans 12:17–21)

When we choose to meditate upon how God wants us to respond to others and choose to follow His precepts we can enjoy fellowship with him.  When we fail to meditate upon His precepts and put our mind on how someone has done us wrong we may find ourselves avenging their actions with our own in thereby trying to take the place of God in avenging evil.  Our we so proud to think that we can do God’s job better than He?  We indeed may be at times, but our prayer is that we would walk in obedience as we meditate upon God’s precepts even in light of attacks by others.

Note:  The video format for this is available at www.fbclitteltonil.org/FirstWord.html 


[1] James Swanson, Dictionary of Biblical Languages With Semantic Domains : Hebrew (Old Testament), electronic ed. (Oak Harbor: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1997).