The Bully Solution

This comes as no surprise to anyone, but the issue/problem of “bullying” has grown to epidemic proportions. Many are saying “Stop bullying!” or “We need to stop bullying!”, yet they are not addressing foundational principles that will help get to the heart of the issue.  Rather, they are address symptoms and say they are “helping,” which is like saying a Band-Aid is “fixing” cancer.  Please read through the following principles and consider how we need to address the foundational issues of bullying.

What is Right?  We must teach a standard of right and wrong that is unchanging.  Nearly everyone will say that the bully is wrong.  Yet, one must admit is that in the majority of cases the bullied has broken God’s standard of righteousness by wrongfully responding to the bully even before it becomes a “bullying” situation, and usually afterward, as well.  We must bring both parties to the point of recognizing that God sets a standard of right and wrong His standard does not change with society’s whims.  We therefore bring them back to the truths of God’s Word.  Psalm 119:9, 11 (NKJV) “How can a young man cleanse his way?  By taking heed according to Your word.  Your Word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against You.”

Who am I?  We must teach individuals that they are created in the “image of God” (Gen. 1:26-27), as the greatest of all of God’s creation.  Our value, therefore, comes from the fact that I am “fearfully and wonderfully made.”  Psalm 139:14   My value or worth does not change when someone calls me a name, or makes fun of my clothing.  My value does not change by how smart, good-looking, or talented I am.   These things are all temporary, and will pass away.   The bullied needs to change the way they look at themselves, to see how God looks at them.  The bully needs to recognize that they are attacking one whom God specially created for His purpose, and they will give account to Him for their behavior.

As one created in God’s image, all of us are to be reflecting the character of God by striving to be loving, caring, holy, forgiving, gracious servants of Him.

How do we resolve our conflict?  The majority of bullying situations grow out of unresolved conflict.  This conflict and fighting comes as a result of our own selfish desires (James 4:1). We must learn not to respond to others sin by attacking them.  I must learn to respond calmly (Prov. 15:1).   We must learn that retaliation is never right (Prov.  20:22; Rom. 12:17; I Peter 3:9).  We must know that God has saved revenge as His right and responsibility (Rom. 12:19; Heb. 10:30).  He sees and knows all, and He is all-powerful, and therefore able to deal with the problem.  We must trust Him to deal with the problem through the authorities that He has set up or personally.  It may not always be the response for which we were wishing, but we can be certain God will deal with it.

Our response is to do everything in our power to live peaceably with all men (Rom. 12:18).   This does not mean we can compromise the truth of God’s word, or disobey His

commands, but we can do everything up to that point to bring about peace in our relationships.

The starting point:  In just this short space we have recognized that there is a standard of right and wrong that has been compromised in our relationships.  This “missing the mark” of God’s righteousness is called sin.  And the “wages of sin” is death (Rom. 6:23). That is bad news, but the good news is that the “gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord” (Rom 6:23).  God in His love sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross to pay the penalty of our sin (John 3:16).  We therefore must recognize our sinfulness and the consequences or our sin and believe that Jesus Christ is the only remedy for that sin.  Are you ready to put your faith in Christ to take the punishment for your sin? 

This bullying problem will continue to increase if we do not teach and train individuals with these truths.  For more help, daily encouragement and more thorough explanations, as well as, other topics such as love and authority: find “The Bully Solution” on Facebook or twitter (@BullySolved) and follow so you get all the updates, or look up www.thebullysolution.blogspot.com to follow our blog.   The bully solution is a ministry of First Baptist Church of Littleton, IL . www.fbclittletonil.org

Faith-based counseling to help those struggling on either side of this issue is available by calling 309-257-2290.

The Process of Spiritual Transformation Part 1

We have been studying justification, the fact that we are declared righteous by God by faith in Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection.  But upon our salvation what is God’s goal for us?  According to Romans 8:29 God’s goal for us is “to be conformed to the image of his Son.”  Ephesians 5 puts it this way, “that He might sanctify and cleanse her (his church) with the washing of the water by the Word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.” (vs. 25-27)

I remember Tony Evans saying, “spiritual growth is guaranteed, but it is not automatic.”   God’s desire is indeed that we would be transformed spiritually in fact he commands it in Ephesians 4:17 we are told to “no longer walk as the rest of the gentiles walk in the futility of their mind.”  Romans 12:2 challenges us to be “transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  This word transformation has the same root word as our word “metamorphosis”. 

We should understand that the term heart and mind are often used interchangeably in Scripture.  In this transformation our mind, our heart, and our knowledge is changed.  Paul challenged the Ephesians in 4:23 to be “renewed in the spirit of their mind.”  The Colossians he told to be “renewed in the knowledge according to the image of Him who created him.” (Col. 3:10)

This change is not just us.  This change takes place through the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.   II Timothy 3:16-17 says, “All scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness, that the man of God might be complete, equipped for every good work.   As we submit to the teaching of the word of God we learn what is right, what is not right, how to get right, and how to stay right.  We then with the help of the Holy Spirit can live in obedience to God’s Word as we apply his principles in our life through our renewed mind.

Ephesians illustrates it with a “put-off  and put-on” principle.  These actions though are affected by our renewed mind, a change in our thinking.  It is a cognitive response.  As we begin to think according to Biblical principles we will put off ungodly actions and begin to replace them with godly actions.  We will be better representing the image of God in which we were created.

In the next edition of “First Word” we will take a look at some of these principles in the book of Ephesians.  We will see then how we must be specific in our life as we deal with sin and we will have to make a choice of who we are going to serve in our life.

“Process of Spiritual Transformation”

Goal:  “To be conformed to the image of His Son” (cf. Rom. 8:29; Eph. 5:25-27)

	Change takes place through the Holy Spirit Word of God II Timothy 3:16,17 (Teaching, conviction, correction, and training)

 

Change is commanded (“transformed” – metamorphasis) Eph. 4:17; Rom. 12:2

Mind (heart, knowledge is changed) Romans 12:2; Eph. 4:23; Col. 3:10

Put Off	Change thinking (cognitive)	Put On
Lying  (Eph. 4:25)	“members one of another” – your neighbor is part of yourself – don’t lie to yourself	Truth Telling
Anger (Eph. 4:26)	When I wake up angry I set myself up to give the devil the opportunity the next day.	Settled relationship
Stealing (Eph. 4:28)	How can I minister to another in need?	Working and giving
Improper speech (Eph. 4:29, 31)	What edifies the other person?	Sharing and caring

Be specific

Choose  (Who will you serve?) Joshua 24:14; Hebrews 11:24-26