Let Them Decide!

Some parents are so controlling! They make their kids learn so many things as they run their lives for them.   I’ve seen parents make their kids eat fruits and vegetables, instead of just putting them out with the Hershey bars, candy, and soda.  This seems overbearing surely they can decide for themselves, if we just expose them to all the food choices that are available.

Other parents are really hung up on academics they make their children learn colors, letters, sounds, numbers  and them expect them to agree that 2 x 2 =4.  These parents just want their kids to be boxed-in in life.  Surely we can just let them have a crayon, pen, pencil, and paper and they can decide for themselves if they really think a system of communication with symbols, or letters is necessary.  It is not like we as parents know everything.

There are even multiple parents I have seen that make their children take a bath, with soap, and even wash behind their ears.  This is just over the top!  How dictatorial can a parent be?   Any kid, given time, can find water, and some kind of cleaner to use, if they think it is necessary and important to themselves.

By now, most of those reading this column are really upset, or have figured out that I am being pretty sarcastic.  Yet, parents that are involved in their kids temporal lives giving all kinds of guidance from baths, to diet, to their education, never spend any time helping prepare them for eternity.  They say, “I am going to let them decide.”  Many of them do not realize that Jesus made this declaration, “I am the way, the truth, and the life, no one comes unto the Father but by me.” (Jn. 14:6, KJV)  They have not kept the command of Ephesians 6:4, to “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (NKJV)

Many who are great parents academically, and physically, never put any effort into spiritually training their children.  They are not only disobedient to the Scriptures but send their children off to “decide” on their own without giving them any direction.  A parent who would never want any physical harm come to their child sends that same child off into a Christ-less eternity to suffer damnation forever!

The following six weeks on Sunday Mornings at 10:30 we will be studying the topic, “Dealing with Dysfunction”.  Principles will be covered that will help bring Biblical answers to everyday problems that parents face but seldom use, to “bring their children up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

(This article was published in the pastor's column of the Rushville Times.)

Mean Teachers

Recently I heard a young student say to a teacher, “Kids say that you are mean.”   Thankfully this teacher was mature enough to not even be upset.

This student was using “mean” in the terms of “causing trouble or being a bother” as if this teacher gets joy out of harassing and giving students a difficult time.

What this student did not realize is that the teacher recognizes their responsibility to educate and that to fulfill their responsibility of education the students need to be disciplined.  Therefore, when a child is acting in such a way as to disrupt their own education and the education of the other children in the classroom a loving and concerned teacher will deal with this and bring consequences into the life of that student so that they hopefully learn to be disciplined in their life so that they and those around them can receive an education.

Whether or not they realize it teachers with this view of discipline are actually reflecting the loving character of Jesus Christ.  In Rev. 3:19 in speaking to the Laodiceans Jesus said, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.”  (cf. Hebrews 12:5-6)

Parents are given many challenges in Proverbs in how to discipline their children.

-      Prov. 29:17 “Correct thy son, and he shall give you rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

-      Prov. 23:13 “Withhold not correction from the child”

-      Prov. 29:15 “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

-      Prov. 29:18 “Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.”

-      Proverbs 13:24 (NKJV) ²⁴He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Unfortunately, if children like the one above are allowed to be the focus of the home and they are seldom if ever disciplined they will not realize their teachers’ actions as loving.  (Note: Discipline is giving loving consequences to an action to bring about God honoring behavior.  This differs from punishment – which is simply “payback” for a behavior.)  Therefore, if we as parents choose to hand over our God given right and responsibility to the government and our local schools, we must realize that we are asking these teachers to act “in loco parentis” that is “in the place of the parents”.  We should then expect them to be disciplining and training our children so that they can receive the best education possible.

In recognizing this we as parents out of love for our children, the other children in our community, and our teachers would do great help if besides just teaching numbers and the ABC’s to our children before they enter school we will also discipline and build character in their lives.   Every young person entering preschool should understand terms such as lie and obey and they should be disciplined and trained to consistently respond the first time they are told to do something.  When we get back to these ideals we will have a bunch of teachers who are less stressed and who can do a better job of teaching our children because they will spend less time training and disciplining our children what we should have already taught them.

In closing let me say thank you to the many teachers who are “mean” in the manner explained above.  Thank you for coming along side of us as parents to help educate our children, because no matter how good of job we do as parents we recognize that all people, including our kids, are sinners and will occasionally need a “mean” teacher!